I lied. I was not in a hurry. Not really. I mean, I didn’t
have time to talk to all six of you, but I guess I could have talked to one of
you. But I didn’t want to. I need to get to Pike Place Market to buy some post
cards and a copy of Games magazine. Then I need to grab lunch and head back to
the office. I suppose I could have listened to one of you tell me why I should
sign your petition… I just wasn’t in the mood.
But you were all so very nice. Each of you smiled. Three of
you shook my hand. You listened to my lame excuse “In a hurry, sorry!” and your
smiles never wavered, not a bit.
In general, I don’t like to sign petitions, that’s my
excuse. I mean, I would have been wasting your time more than you would have
been wasting mine. I wouldn’t have signed, even if it’s a cause I believe in. I
know, I’m lame! Or, if you were one of the very pretty ones, and I was trying
to impress you, I would have used a fake name.
I mean, come on, wasting your time when you could be spending
it going after someone else? Signing a fake name and potentially rendering the
petition invalid? Get creeped on by a guy who’s married anyway and even if he
wasn’t is too old for you and even if you’re into older married guys there’s no
way you’re into older married guys who write zombie stories and slam poetry? I
did us both a favor.
But still, I think I should apologize anyway. Because you
were all very friendly about it. It makes it harder for me to be an asshole
when you don’t asshole me back. So, sorry about that.
By the way, could you let me know when you’re going to be
gone? I need to buy my wife some flowers at the Market after she reads this.
